Transformers: The Last Knight
Director: Michael Bay
Cast Headliners: Mark Wahlberg, Laura Haddock, Anthony Hopkins, Isabella Moner, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, many , too many, others
Original Release Date: June 21st, 2017
Another couple years, anotherrrrr Transformers film. The ride never ends when these keep making money. But it seems the barrel has really started to be scrapped with this fifth installment with Transformers: The Last Knight. One knows what to expect by now, although this time its wilder than ever for good and bad. It's once again not boring..but that doesn't mean it's any good. Some highest of highs but the lowest possible lows of ever. Where does one even begin.
Much buzz had been made about the mania of the inclusion of King Arthur(Liam Garrigan), Merlin(A very stupidly drunk Stanley Tucci in lieu of his role from the 4th film), and historical / medieval elements. Like many elements of this movie, this is barely involved / pointless and a let down. One of many retcons to the lore is that apparently transformers have been actively involved in the affairs of humanity for all of their history (lol). Merlin had a mechanical staff for his magic that has been lost for ages.
Picking up in the present the world once again (as has happened many times in this franchise) has its stakes changed after the various events of the past few Transformers films. The cast is mainly new, again , from the human side. Cade Yeager(Mark Wahlberg) and autobot Bumblebee (Erik Aadahl) very randomly make the loose acquaintance of a young orphan girl named Izabella (Isabella Moner) and her bot Sqweeks in the ruins of Chicago. Proceeding back to their home wacky junkyard of side characters they are joined by allies including the memorable Age Of Extinction stereotype autobots Drift(Ken Watanabe), Hound(John Goodman), Crosshairs(John DiMaggio) amongst little seen and less memorable allies like dinosaurs including Grimlock and merchant Daytrader (Steve Buscemi giving at least a Big Lebowski reunion) and the annoying assistant mechanic Jimmy(Jerrod Carmichael).
For some reason even though the Autobots have proven to be nobler than than the Deceptions for many years and films now the US Government has formed the TRF anti-transformer force led by some silly characters (Tony Hale appears as a scientist with some ok jokes) and the return of soldier Lennox (Josh Duhamel). Using their own army of non-transformer robots , walkers, drones, and soldiers they attempt to chase down Markey Mark's Cade and friends. Stupidly, they even temporarily ally with the (once again..what happened to Galvatron/look? The lore is ruined by this point beyond even the X-Men timeline) return of the Decepticons in Megatron (Frank Welker here), who has a new look and a ripoff of the Suicide Squad (who get name cards and music.in front of a crew of literal lawyers..grr... then fade away shortly after).
This doesn't even describe the even further mess of factions present. In Britain, an eccentric member of the “Witwiccan Order:”Sir Edmund Burton (Anthony Hopkins) and his bot allies Cogman(Jim Carter) and Hot Rod (Omary Sy) recruit the aid of historian Vivian (Laura Haddock) to solve the mystery of Merlin's staff. They later fold in the USA characters for an “epic” journey. Elsewhere still, Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen)'s cliffhanger from the last movie in space reaches a whimper of a conclusion as he crash lands on Cybertron and is corrupted by his apparent creator the robotic demonic goddess Quintessa (Gemma Chan) as she prepares to collide her planet with Earth. In Cuba, the return of Simmons(John Turturro) literally phones in a cameo and some “humor” after being absent from the fourth film. Even Shia LaBeouf's fate is addressed and cameos this time. Although these elements are not enough to bring back a lost fan if they had left prior to this point.
It's a lot of characters, locations, and places to keep track of to a level even more overwhelming than ever before in a series that has done so. Very few elements stick out from this messy yet awesome mess. While Wahlberg's Cade is even more manical and lame than AoE he does have some decent chemistry and interaction with the ok charm and vigor of Haddock's Vivian. For all of the marketing material implying that Moner's Izabella was a main character she appears in barely any of the movie and annoys more than anything when she is present at all. A zany, odd highlight are the characters surrounding Sir Edmund. It's in a way sad to see the legendary Hopkins choose a role like this and a lot of his lines are cringeworthy. But he also has a manic, zany sense to him that one can tell he had fun doing this role as he does with stupid passion. Carter's Cogman and him are the true pair of chemistry in the film. Cogman is cool, funny, and great.. a sort of C-3PO / K2SO from Star Wars though not as great. Too many swears as ever. The various Autobots and Decepticons give alright voiced performances but fade into the manic fast movie tapestry. Duhamel does litle more than shout orders either, although isnt that what he always did.
A semi major dissapointment of the movie is Optimus Prime. The series has never really decided whether he should be featured as a leader, a protagonist, or cameo. Its no surprise that him being a villian is not handleed well either. He is barely in it either, his “evil acts” aren't even that destructive with one exception. The lore with him and Quintessa is interestig but also breaks conventions previously established. It's a neat idea but in the end done wrong. Just about anything with lore in the movie can be thought of as such, with a random World War 2 flasbback not adding much to the plot aside setting up no doubt future spinoffs of “transformers across history”
The characters..mostly bad. The humor... occasionally funny, often stupid. The lore and backstory, mostly ruined. The plot, long , often stupid and confusing, and messier than ever. However there are some true redeeming qualities. The mania of puzzle pieces won't leave one bored and laughing in a likely unintended way brings cheesy charm to the movie. The music is lush (although jarringlt mocked at one point in a meta way) and the visuals are mostly great. There's some truly nice visual shots and effects of robotic beings. Yet also, there is just as many or more times where effects are obvious as well..it's a mixed bag. Action is epic in stakes and scale yet confusing. Although sometimes one has to appreciate the explosion mania Michael Bay has going on his directing, as ever. Although the line between impressive and headache indusing spectacle is an ever thinner one.
This movie takes the previously established characters, lore, and conventions that were already in a blender...and blends them again. New elements are mostly cheesy or pointless, but some things are alright. It's a very bad film, perhaps the lowest quality of the franchise. Yet if one is completely bored, or liked previous entries in the franchise, it somehow still mananges to have some silly redeeming value. Only some... 6 out of 10